Kids at Weddings

Please don’t invite my kids to your wedding…

As the wedding invites start rolling in, who am I kidding – I don’t have THAT many friends. Ok, so, as the two wedding invites I’ve received stare at me from the fridge door, the glimmer of a full day and night, sans kids, glistens like a beacon of parental hope on the childcare horizon. I’ll be dressed like a grown up for a full day, possibly wear heels (the jury’s still out on my heel walking abilities) and can get stuck into some cheap cava like only a mother who’s left her kids with grandparents for 24 hrs can.

But it only occurred to me, halfway through chatting to a child-free friend getting hitched this summer, that the debate whether to allow kids or not to their nuptials was a fiercely roaring moral dilemma. Kid-free friends – let me put your mind at rest – don’t invite my kids! Please! In my opinion, weddings are no places for children under the age of 15 – after this age, the free food, possibility of a sip (or two) of aforementioned cheap plonk and the chance of a cheeky snog with a young relative of the bridal family, are all good reasons to be in attendance.

Still not convinced? Here’s just some of the reasons you shouldn’t invite my kids…

  • Drunk parents chatting for hours to other grown-ups about boring stuff and dancing like Baz from the Happy Mondays, does not good childcare make!
  • Presumably you want your wedding photos to look relatively conformist – I can’t imagine a Real Madrid kit is top of your dress-code desires, but it is for my 8 and 9 year old. So, save me the hassle of buying a whole “smart” outfit that they will only wear once and, even for that one occasion, they will scream, as if being water boarded, about putting it on.
  • You’re, of course, interested in your own wedding – I’m, well, kinda/semi interested – so by the time this gets down to my 8 year old, he’s really not interested and is just wondering when he can go ruin those new chinos, climbing that ancient oak tree in the grounds of your 17th century castle venue – potentially breaking a branch and/or an ankle in the process.
  • Kids DO NOT look as cute at weddings as Pinterest would have you believe!
  • Mr Only Girl and I haven’t been out on a “date night” since *cue tumble weed*, oh, that’d be forever then! Let us use your wedding, and your “hideous no-child policy” that you’ve insisted on (hehe) as a great excuse for extended family to babysit.

I hope this puts your mind at rest my kid-free friends – now lets all enjoy your day without anyone having to dance with the kids – which no-one actually wants to do!

 

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6 Comments

  1. April 22, 2016 / 8:39 am

    Love this. My (childless) TwinSib is getting married at the end of this year and has lots of friends with children and then me with my two boys. She wants the kids there, but doesn’t, but does, but doesn’t… So she’s organised a wedding creche for the meal and speeches etc… I will be merrily flinging my beloved littles in there for as long as is socially acceptable. I might even get to talk to some grown ups whilst enjoying a hot meal… x

    • April 22, 2016 / 11:41 am

      Oh no – she should’ve stuck with the doesn’t! Ah – at least you get a slither of time to pretend you’re child-free for the day, plus, presumably as it’s you sister’s wedding there should be grandparents available should you go completely wild and have one too many G&Ts?! Good luck with that one x

  2. April 22, 2016 / 11:37 am

    Yes, yes and yeeesssss. I thought I was the only one who loves a wedding without the little one. No need to have the “chat” about who is on child watching duty while the other break dances like it’s the early 90’s. No need to spend the day trying to keep small person neat and clean for photos, chance to have cheeky fag together. Ah the joy of adult only weddings!!!

    • April 22, 2016 / 11:43 am

      You are def not alone!! Whilst I love my kids – there are many occasions I wish they hosts would stipulate “child free” – weddings, anniversary parties, supermarkets and holidays!! hehehe x

  3. Sasha
    April 22, 2016 / 10:27 pm

    We caused a big family row by not having kids at our wedding. But I agree on everything you said.
    That said, my sister in law is getting married this summer and wants us to bring the little man (he’ll be 9 months old). I think after a couple of hours I’ll get my parents to come take him away! The joy of local weddings at least.

  4. May 16, 2016 / 2:35 pm

    I’ve only been invited to two child free weddings. They were both a distance from home and on a Friday so we could not work out any childcare, so we didn’t go to either of them. We’ve always taken children when we’ve had the opportunity and they’ve had a great time, but I’ve got friends who always leave them with family when they get the chance, so I can see different things work for different people.

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