Luckily, there was a time pre-iphones, pre-instagram and pre-blogging – yes, this time existed; not well documented but real none-the-less. For this reason, my early days of motherhood and even my most recent pregnancy were not well documented (they said I was supposed to glow ffs!!!). It’s because of this lack of documentation and the fact I’m so busy juggling just to stay in the present and make sure everyone is at football training on time, that I sometimes neglect the past – don’t pay it homage – don’t appreciate that it’s made me who I am and take for granted that not everyone who reads my blog or follows our lives on Instagram is a mind reader, and knows why I say some of the things I say, do what I do or feel so strongly about some things.
When I briefly touch on subjects like PND, divorce, anti-depressants, rehab, meeting Mr OG or becoming a “blended family” – I love that I get an influx of questions, comments and support; but I feel like a fraud, not giving all the details and leaving out the juicy bits, the bits that (I hope) might help someone, give a sense of not being alone or just offering another side of motherhood- an alternative to the glossy, Boden-clad dream that first-time (or anytime) mothers can often be brainwashed into believing is the norm.
I’ve wanted to write about these subjects for so long, but where to start? How about the beginning?! Over the coming weeks and months (bear with me, kids tend to fuck with the flow of productivity!) I wanna take you on my “journey” – partly so I can see it laid out in a neat chronological order (those kind of things make my inner control freak happy!), in part to help anyone who is living any part of it and so the next time someone says, “you’re so lucky/your life’s so perfect”, or feels the need to judge me on a parenting forum (!), I can direct them to the road map that got me to where I am today and show the path to perceived pixelated perfection has a bumpy undercurrent of epic fails, self-doubt and enough tears to rival a Green Mile/Marley & Me marathon.
So, consider this your introduction, the contents of my motherhood adventure thus far, laid out below – if you fancy sticking around for a bit of a fuck me, that was a crazy ride adventure then welcome aboard! If not, that’s cool – keep on scrolling to my other posts which will still pierce through this cathartic journey like rays of monochromatic and child smattered sunshine.
The Contents of MY Motherhood:
- Mum at 21 – PND and first-time motherhood. (I kinda touched on this in THIS blog post).
- Mum of 2: 23, a toxic marriage, self-loathing and a boob job.
- I Need Help Please: Depression, Citalopram and Me.
- Rehab Review -addiction, codependce – who am I?
- Single Mum, Benefits and Cleaning Other People’s Bogs!
- Building the Life I Want at 28.
- Mum/Step Mum of 5: Finding Mr Right, new mum again and turning 30.
This story really is as much about you as it is me, so I thought (self-doubt is screaming “no you twat-muffin, no-one wants to know!”) after every “episode” I’d open it up in the comments below to anyone who wants to ask any questions on the topic, then answer them on Instagram live at a set time or a Youtube video – thoughts and comments on this welcome. If there’s no comments below, I’ll get the hint, this is maybe more about me than you?!!