The Only Girl in the House

Pre-Kidders on Planes

Pre-Kidders on Planes

There’s an unspoken understanding between parents on planes: Do whatever the hell it takes to get through. Be it seat swapping, sweet giving, playing peekaboo over a seat, snorting the innards of a sherbet lemon in a vague hope of some legal high or simply accepting that normal rules will not apply for the duration of the flight. This seems to be if your children are aged 1, 10 or 33. If you’ve ever been a parent on an aircraft, you just get it. Then there’s those pesky people that fill up the family-void spaces on a plane: The pre-kidders or the people that made the life-choice to never have the little darlings (is it too late to make this choice?!).

Here’s just some of the questions and comments I would like to put to the pre-kidders who occupied 34A and 34B on our recent travels…

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First Family Holiday with 5 Kids

First Family Holiday with 5 Kids

It was this time last year when I cautiously made my way over to the Thomson Holiday’s stand (actually a replica airplane) at the spectacular Blogtacular conference. Like many of the bloggers in attendance I fancied a go at pitching my holiday idea to the company behind sending so many British families on their hols every year. I challenged Thomson Holidays to keep our 5 boys so entertained for a week in the sun that they wouldn’t be tempted by their gadgets – and they accepted!

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Fear of Flying – With Kids

Fear of Flying – With Kids

For the last week or so, people have kindly been questioning if I’m looking forward to our impending travels, as tomorrow is the day we set off on our first ever family holiday as a septet. Whilst I would usually smile and reply congenially, I’ve found myself being perhaps overly honest with a reply of “NO, I’m fucking dreading it.”. I can’t help but think my answer, along with this blog, is some sort of cry for help – a desire to “talk it out”, to make it all better?!

I’m not sure what part of getting up at 5am with 5 ridiculously excited boys, herding them through Gatwick Airport amidst half-term madness, boarding a jet propelled metal tube rammed with potential onlookers and juggling a toddler on my lap in my solo seat for 3.5 hours, is supposed to be something to look forward to. It’s bad enough trying to contain them in our own home, with plenty of room for movement, a fridge full of food and surrounded by their creature comforts – let alone chucking them to 30k feet with a 250 strong audience and restricted personal space.

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My Mum Holiday Wardrobe

My Mum Holiday Wardrobe

The count down to our first ever family holiday has begun. In 3 weeks the brave crew over at Thomson Holidays will be jetting all 5 boys and us grown-ups to sunnier climes. So, this week saw me traipse into town (Brighton if I’m being precise), baby and mother in tow in search of the perfect mum garb for our jaunt to a warmer location/summer 2016. I’d tried and failed with my usually reliable online shopping, perhaps as I had quite specific requirements from my new, more revealing wardrobe…

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Mummy Grumble: Another School Costume

Mummy Grumble: Another School Costume

Thank god for that- school’s out for Easter! At this point, most mums I know would be staring at me with puzzled looks at my jubilant sigh of relief that the holidays have arrived. Two whole weeks with my rabble is far from a mother-earth, bond with your kids kinda experience – more of a “I need a G&T!” by 10am kinda saga, as I become an on-demand dinner lady for a fortnight. So, my joy at no more school is not that I get some quality time with my munchkins (well, just a tad!) but the fact I no longer have to be super-mum for the school’s pleasure – no more fancy-dress days, Easter bonnet competitions, sponsorship forms, cake sales………

Anyone under the impression that by the time your little humans head off to school that your life will become easier has clearly never encountered a school newsletter, PTA email or school office text reminder. Once the two eldest boys started at our quaint, village primary school, I was all prepared for days filled with work, evenings preparing dinner and chatting about our days activities then skipping off to bed at a reasonable hour. Oh how wrong could one mama be?!

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