Not Quite Adulting: My Adult Moments

That moment you look round for an adultier adult, but it’s just you…

You’d think that at 31, having birthed 3 sprogs, been married then divorced, mortgaged up, 2 step kids and numerous pets – that I might consider myself a fully fledged adult. WRONG! Like many people I’ve asked on this subject, it’s not that I feel like a kid, but I certainly don’t feel like I’ve reached the peak of my grown-up-ness. Worringly, even my mum – a whole generation of adultier-ness above me, still doesn’t feel there yet. But perhaps being a grown-up isn’t a state, a bit like happiness, it’s fleeting moments; moments where it really feels as though I’ve got my shit together and I can do this – without doing a silly dance, asking for a straw with my coke or throwing a (discreet) tantrum when our local ice cream parlour runs out of cherry flavour on a particularly I-need-cherry-kinda-day.

So, here’s my list of moments when I feel top of my adult game – in the vague hope, some of you might also feel the same about adulting and always hoping there will be an adultier-adult to deal with the crap post fan-hit.

  • Walking the dog – not sure why, but when I harness that beagle up, stick my wellies on and strap the baby in the cross-country buggy, I suddenly feel like I’m conquering all parental/pet ownership challenges in one go.
  • Washing the sofa covers. This feels well-up there with adultness, because if I have time/washing machine space to wash the sofa covers, then it means I’ve got through all the other washing, which is pretty bloody adult!
  • Parents evening. I don’t think I actually feel like an adult in this situation, which can be tricky to master when sat on a midget chair talking to someone that wrangles 30 kids on a daily basis (clearly adultier than me), but I certainly act like a grown-up, that’s just the done thing!
  • Buying and applying weed-killer. This is another one of those things that if I get round to doing means that all the other jobs have been done (or are being irrevocably sidelined). Therefore, I’m winning in the adult stakes.
  • Booking an online grocery shop to arrive on Sunday evening ready for the week ahead. Completely avoids the oh-crap-the-kids-will-have-to-have-rice-cake-sandwiches-in-their-lunch-boxes situation on a Monday morning. Now that it serious grown-up organisation at play.
  • Getting the calendar off the fridge and writing all the term dates down, months in advance whilst remembering the pesky little inset days which are sent to catch you out!
  • Going through the full cleanse routine before bed (not just a baby wipe!), removing every scrap of makeup – I’m talking full pre-cleanse, cleanse, tone and moisterise.
  • Any form of insurance renewal/service provider change – nuff said!

Some things I doubt I will ever feel grown up enough to do include:

  • Buy alcohol in an off-license without looking sheepish.
  • Approach the Clinique counter and pretend I know which order their products are supposed to be applied in, or even what they do.
  • After 3 kids and generally a lack of filter when it comes to discussing fannies and procreation, talk to my GP about contraception and sex without feeling like a naughty teenager.
  • Quietly peruse books in Waterstone’s.
  • Say no to a cola Colin the Caterpillar.

What are your adult moments or “definitely will never happen as I’m not adult enough” things? Let me know in the comments!

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5 Comments

  1. July 6, 2016 / 11:36 am

    Calling in sick to work definitely makes me feel like an adult, filling up my car at the petrol pump and any time I pay for something using my credit card! X

    • July 6, 2016 / 11:38 am

      Yes!!!! Filling up with petrol and actually paying £50 for something to get me from a-b instead of shoes!! ??

  2. Sam
    July 6, 2016 / 4:15 pm

    I completely empathise with this and have less adult feeling moments than you, I wonder when/if it will ever change?! What about going to the butchers? And pretending to know what you’re talking about when they ask what you are going to do with that particular cut of meat? 😀

    • July 6, 2016 / 4:18 pm

      I’ve never had the balls to do it… Just like I’m scared of the deli counter in the supermarket! They might ask me how many chicken penang bites I want in weight not just handful size! ?

  3. Sam
    July 6, 2016 / 8:07 pm

    Haha do it! Butchers can be surprisingly friendly altho can also be known to tell you their life stories. Quite nice on a day when you’ve only spoken to the toddler and the dog x

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