Mum Vs Roller-Disco

Every Friday, without fail, the 7 yr old skips out of school, with an eager face asking – “can we go to the roller-disco tonight, pleeeeeeeaaaassseee?”. It’s a blessing and a curse that our local leisure centre fling open their doors every Friday night for a weekly rave on wheels – super that kids have a great place to expend that end-of-week excess energy but a bloody nightmare for any adult tasked with accompanying them; leaving me with the resounding feeling I must have done something wrong in a former life!

Why?I hear you say, would an event where the kids get to roll around like the cast of starlight express on a methamphetamine induced high, burning energy, getting excerise all whilst socialising with their peers, be a bad thing?! Ha, the people asking that question have clearly never experienced a village leisure centre roller-disco as an adult – so let me take you on a sensory journey, my roller-disco hell which I experience every Friday night…

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My New Year’s Resolution: Shout at the Kids for the Right Reasons

It goes without saying that for the start of 2016 I’ve made the obligatory promises to myself, that I’ll struggle to keep past the 10th of Jan (in fact I haven’t actually started them yet): drink more water (any would be a great start), double cleanse before bed (a single cleanse would be a major achievement), watch my spending, get organised… blah blah blah, but these are all relatively selfish resolutions. The one I’m hell bent on keeping is – stop shouting at the kids so much, or at least shout at them for the right reasons.

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Ba-humbug to Baby’s First Christmas: Gift List

At the risk of coming across like the Grinch pissing on Santa’s parade, I’m going to admit I’m not a huge fan of going overboard for a little one’s first Christmas (each to their own though!). This has good and bad points for Casper: on the plus side – he will not be sporting a green and red, elf onsie, neither will he be found supping on Grandma’s xmas roast given the mini-blender treatment; on the downside, my poor little Tiny Tim will not be inundated with so presents he doesn’t know which one to bang/throw/dribble on first. Maybe I’m just incredibly cynical after a couple of 1st xmases, but new parents, I hate to put your cinnamon and clove scented candle out but your bubs will undoubtedly give a glassy eyed clueless look for a large portion of the day and, although a cliche – they WILL genuinely enjoy the box and packaging so much more!

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Secret to Looking Top of Your Mum Game – Minimal Effort Required

I get asked, on quite a regular basis “how do you do it?” – the answer is quite frankly, I don’t have a bloody clue. But when I sit back and think about it, I’ve got a great support network (my kick-ass amazing mum & super mum-in-law), a wonderfully flexible job, a ridiculously hands-on baby-daddy and at the end of everyday there’s always a million things that need doing – but life’s far too short to be worrying about the dusting and the ironing (I know, I spend a lot of time talking about my ironing, rather than actually doing it!). But I haven’t just started writing this post to show off about the fab people around me et al – no no, I’m gonna let you in on a little secret I didn’t even know about. I didn’t realise I was subconsciously giving people the impression that I had all my shit together just from one very tiny thing…

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Playing Dress Up

I’ve spent a lot of time recently watching the eternally stylish and pure bonkers Iris Apfel in her bio-doc over on Netflix – yes, originally it was my idea to watch it whilst feeding bubs, but I soon realised he was mesmerised by her over-sized glasses and spectacular range of colourful outfits; she by far outdoes any purple dancing dinosaur or primary coloured nit-wits for entertaining a small human. It was on about the third run through I caught the lovely Iris say something so very true to my heart:

‘I didn’t give a damn about going to the party or being at the party.

It was a about getting dressed for the party. And there’s truth and poetry in that’

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