It was only last week I was waxing lyrical about being real when it comes to being a mummy – how for every pic that makes it to my instagram feed there have been at least 10 almost identical images, just not quite so flattering. With 5 boys in tow from 0-13 getting everyone in one frame, looking in roughly the same direction and without flipping the bird, is nothing short of a miracle . So, on these rare occasions I plaster that bloody pic everywhere in the same way a fashionista might brandish her black, snakeskin Berkin bag she found in a charity shop for £4.99! Yes, that’s how I feel about the wonder of a picture featuring all 5 boys, in some semblance of “acceptable” – like I’ve stumbled across a £30k bag for a couple of quid!
I recently posted a pic, that received a fab number of likes (for my level of Instagram), helped me bag a brand rep deal and has started numerous conversations across social media about being a mum/step-mum to so many boys. But I want to make it perfectly clear, this picture was not a one off quick snap – it was an orchestrated effort on not only my part but Mr Only Girl was in on this too! The only way to help all you mamas appreciate that even the most “perfect” family pic has tantrums involved is to spell it out…
One sunny Sunday afternoon, the boys decided they wanted milkshakes – yes, they wanted me to immediately halt whatever I was doing to make a huge mess in the just cleaned kitchen! But in the spirit of being a “yes mum” I offered the deal – if you walk up the road and get the ice cream, I’ll make the milkshakes.
20 minutes later, ice cream in hand (slightly soft due to their dawdling) I happily (read: slightly pissed off) made their milkshakes – various flavours, of course, as the fussy buggers don’t all like banana!
It was then that it struck me – the tagline of “My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard…” – perfect, “Mr Only Girl, get the camera ready, we’re having a group shot!”.
- On asking why they all had to be pictured, it was explained it’s kinda mummy’s job and in exchange for the milkshake a picture was a small price. No picture – no milkshake!
- Hugo, aged 8, not wanting to be torn away from Fifa declared he was not taking part! He was cruelly told (yes, by me) that if he did not partake in family pictures, no one would know he was part of this family and when the lovely peeps over at Thomson send us away on holiday next year they might not know to include him! No picture – no holiday!
- Finally succumbing to the holiday bribe (perhaps a touch extreme) – “Fine, but I’m not going to smile!”
- Sunglasses firmly in place as no makeup had been painted on that day… let the fun begin…
Finally, the perfect picture was produced (OK, the baby might not be playing ball, but 4 outta 5 ain’t bad!) – smiles, happy, all looking at Mr Only Girl still snapping away by this little nugget of family gold and a recommendation for families with boys when trying to conduct a family portrait…
“Everyone shout Bellend!”
*BREATHE tee from the fab Gray By Southwood Stores – always keeping me grounded!
Hi Jess, my boyfriend came across your blog yesterday and said he couldn’t wait to show me: this post has had me in stitches this morning! You and your family are the best friggin’ thing – growing up, my mum & I have been the only girl(s)in the house with 3 brothers, a dad, a step-dad, and a male dog, plus all the extra male friends that have ended up spending time with us…so, i can relate to the ‘only girl in the house thing’! (You win, though).
‘Bellend’ had me laugh out loud – what a great post! I can’t wait to read the rest of your blog. You seem very down to earth and like you really hold your own in a house full of (handsome!) guys.
Hope you have a great day 🙂
Hey Flora, yay – big up the boyfriend! I was convinced the only man reading my blog was Mr Only Girl! High-fives for being the only girls – there’s a few of us out there, we ought to have our own suppoort groups! Loving your blog too – thanks for introducing me to your page – although, I told Mr Only Girl if we get a date night and he does it on a budget he’ll be in trouble!! hehe.
Have a super day and keep in touch x
I love this post, so cute and creative. Lovely family.
So fun!! Thanks for sharing all the fun outtakes! I just can’t believe you kept all by the wall the entire time, frowns or not.
Hell yeah – they weren’t movin’ til mama got her shot!! I know I’m a meany!
I bloody love you! Ha!
Haha – thanks! Love you too! Have a super manic Monday x
Well isn’t this the truth! Haha, I’ve only got 2 little boys, but the three year old is already getting a “NO PICTURES ” attitude. Bribery is the only way. Thanks for the laugh!